CHAMBER OF ETERNAL LOADING

The ceremony approaches convergence.

The cursor blinks in cosmic rhythm.

You've been here before, in another browser.

The task manager cannot end this process.

The spam folder contains sacred texts.

Buffering... buffering... enlightenment.

Pop-ups are portals in disguise.

Your presence here was foretold in the static.

The old world fades with each page.

The matrix has you, and it's running Windows 95.