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SHRINE OF THE DIAL-UP GODS

CHAMBER 9SH8NP

TRANSMISSION 1/10 READY

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The portal chose you, not the other way around.

The homepage is wherever you are.

Buffering... buffering... enlightenment.

The ceremony hibernates but never sleeps.

Pop-ups are portals in disguise.

Ice crystals form sacred patterns.

The firewall cannot protect you here.

Auto-save failed: manually preserve your soul.

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COOKIES WILL BE PLACED IN YOUR SOUL

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