SHRINE OF THE DIAL-UP GODS

Ping timeout: reality not responding.

The bandwidth narrows as you descend.

You were chosen before you arrived.

The final frequency awakens.

You are becoming the signal.

Your IP address was written in the stars.

Incognito mode: the illusion of privacy.

The final frequency awakens.

The spam folder contains sacred texts.

Buffering... buffering... enlightenment.

The firewall cannot protect you here.

The loading bar measures your spiritual progress.